I’m actually very careful whom I donate to. I’ve read accounts of other donors who pretty much donate to anyone that wants it, whether they are ready for a child or not. I also only donate using Natural Insemination, so you would think that I would care who was asking as long as I could “get lucky.”
Well, that’s the issue with me as I don’t think of myself as getting lucky by finding a woman who wants me to take her to bed and get her pregnant with no obligations afterwards.
One thing I always do with any potential recipient is to talk with her and make sure that this is really what she wants. I suppose in a way I’m trying to see how serious she is and something she won’t regret in the coming years. I mean in reality what she is considering isn’t something that polite society would accept: going to bed with a stranger to get pregnant.
It’s especially true if she is married because then you have the spouse to consider and the last thing I want to do is break up a marriage.
A married couple that wanted a baby came to me in my early days of donating and asked for NI. I should have been able to read the signs that not all was well because the husband did most of the talking and the wife, though she smiled and nodded, just didn’t seem that into it. Over the years, I’ve found that the wife is usually the more enthusiastic one, with the husband going along to make the wife happy. In this case, I never really got to talk to the wife alone except for a few snatches here and there when the husband would leave the room for a few moments.
I was also a bit surprised that the husband didn’t have any rules for me to follow during the donation. In essence, he told me that I could do what I wanted.
Anyway, on the day of the donation I met them at their home and the plan was for me to go upstairs to their bedroom and do the deed with the wife while the husband stayed downstairs.
I went into the bedroom and closed the door and the wife was like she was in a Zen like state. Were this to happen today, I would stop everything and find out what was going on. But I was inexperienced and didn’t read the situation correctly.
So, I got into bed with her and found that she was already naked under the covers. She had a calm face and didn’t seem to be very nervous, so I began caressing her arm as a way to start things. She didn’t seem to mind; therefore, I continued with this very tame foreplay with her legs and belly area, but keeping away from her more intimate areas for the moment. She continued with her serene attitude, which I mistook as acceptance for what I was doing.
But still, despite there being no rules, I didn’t attempt to kiss her or linger too long in any one place on her body. I did get a bit bold towards the end when I slowly began getting closer and closer to her breasts. She didn’t appear to be concerned when I began rubbing the base of her breasts, so I took the plunge and placed y hand on top and began softly rubbing her nipple area. I focused on her face as I did this this to judge her reaction, and to my relief, she kept her same peaceful expression on her face, but kept her eyes tightly shut. Since she appeared to be relaxed, I didn’t think anything was wrong.
But still, I had the feeling that despite her acceptance of what I was doing, I probably had reached my limits of what sort of foreplay she would accept. I figured that it was probably time to get on with doing what I was here for.
I asked her if she wanted to wait a bit or should we start. Only then did she seem to break out of her trance and for a moment she betrayed a tiny bit of panic and uncertainty in her eyes. I should have stopped right then and there, but she quickly told me to go ahead with it.
I reached for some sperm friendly lubricant (water based) and put a little bit onto my penis. I decided to go ahead and just check between her legs to see how moist she was. As I’m a little bit thicker than normal, I wanted to make sure that she would be able to handle me without too much discomfort. I found that she was very, very wet, which I mistook for being stimulated.
Though I didn’t realize it at the time, in reality, many women will get very wet during their peak ovulation. It has nothing to do with how stimulate they are but it’s a way for the body to prepare itself for pregnancy as the extra mucus is very sperm friendly and helps it get to where it needs to be. My own vanity thought that it was because of me that had gotten her so “stimulated.” I wish I were a sexy breast that had the ability to seduce a woman with just my eyes like Rudolf Valentino. 🙂
So, feeling her wetness and assuming she was ready and anxious to start, I spread her legs, mounted her, maneuvered myself so my penis tip was lined up with her smaller body frame, and planted my penis tip right into her wet entrance. I adjusted myself one last time, and as I began slowly pushing inside of her she suddenly went wide eyed and told me, “Stop!” in a sharp command.
Instantly I froze and looked down at her wide eyes and open mouth. I will never forget her terror like expression. I assumed that she was experiencing pain from being penetrated. But as I looked at her face, I realized there was something more going on.
“I can’t do it,” she said. “Please…just get off me.” I then saw a tear coming from her eye and I was horrified because I was the cause of whatever pain she was feeling.
I quickly pulled away and got off her and asked if she was all right.
“I just can’t do this. It was my husband’s idea and I just went along. I’m sorry. Please forgive me,” she said as she sat up, covering her body with the bed sheet.
I assured her that there was nothing to apologize for and that she obviously needed to work this out with her husband. She agreed and said that she had a lot to talk about with him. She then turned to me, smiled, patted me on the hand, and thanked me for being understanding.
With that, I quickly got dressed and just before I left I asked if things were going to be all right.
“I hope so,” she said. And with that I left. I met the husband downstairs and he asked me how it went. “We didn’t do it,” I told him. “Your wife is OK, but she needs to talk to you.”
I left the house as fast as I could.
I’m not sure what happened afterwards and I hoped they fixed their problems. But that taught me a huge lesson that I incorporated into all my future donations, especially with married women and that is to talk…talk…and then talk some more alone with the woman to make sure that she is in the driver’s seat of this donation and no one else.
The problem with this sort of donation, especially with a married woman, is that it’s just too darn intimate. Unless the couple is in a very stable relationship and both are on the same page as far as what is required to have their baby, it’s not going to work in the long term. My goal is to make sure that they understand this and that they are stable enough to survive this.
I’m glad to say that of the nine or so married couples I’ve donated to, non are divorced (I do keep an eye on the county court house records where the couple live to make sure that no divorce filing were received from them).
Again, the key for any successful donation isn’t necessarily the actual moment of NI donation but can the person receiving it accept the long term consequences of using intercourse as a means of conceiving a child. It’s especially true for married couple, and the last thing I want is to be part of a marriage break-up due to my part in the NI donation.
At the end, if the couple get the child they both so much desire and live happily every after, no one is happier than me.